I really wonder about people sometimes, like what is really in their head? I have heard many atrocious comments and have read many online that were said to others. Some of them make you think that the people making the comments, either hate children or maybe have some jealousy issues.
I think many of us have heard the few common ones like:
- Better you than me
- Wow, I am glad I don't have twins
- OH my word are they (insert amount of multiples you have here)
- how do you do it
- how do you handle them
- you have your hands full
But what about the REALLY intense comments. Those are what disturbs me.
Recently I have read several blogs that all stated one common thing that was said to them at least once.
I'd kill myself if I had twins
WOAH, what the heck is that??? Seriously? People go around saying this to random mothers of twins out in public? It's like asking for yourself to be randomly baker acted because you saw a person with twins and went temporarily insane.
Why on earth would you say you would take your own life if you had twins?
That is intense, hardcore, over-the-top CRAZY!
Think about it, when we go out in public and see a Mothers with a really outrageously misbehaving child do you go up to her and say....
"Hey is your kid having a FIT? (stressed mother says YES) Oh well I'd kill myself if my kid did that".
Do you ever go up to a random mother that either:
- obviously looks like she is broke, dirty, lives on welfare in a trailer
- has a lot of kids (not multiples)
- has a misbehaving child
- wears non-matching clothes on her kid
- buys too much junk food
- drives a gas guzzler
- has a disabled child
- is wearing white after labor day (hehe)
- shops (a huge shopping trip) with her kid at midnight in wal-mart
- has any random appalling (TO YOU) quality
and say: I'd kill myself if.... (insert any of above statements here)
HECK NO!!! Who does that????? That would be terrible!! Not to mention rude, insensitive, unnecessary, and in some cases quite cruel!
Why do they make that statement and other statements though?
Do they hate children, even their own secretly? Do they really think multiples are such a bad thing? Are they secretly jealous? Are they batsh*t crazy?
What on earth makes people think they can just walk up to or past a mother of multiples and say such an outlandish statement to them?
Do we have a quality that makes them feel really comfortable around us?
Are we one of those people you can just say anything to?
Are we makeshift psychologists?
I know that when people see a set of multiples, they get excited in one way or another and want to let you know that they are indeed excited. I get that.
It's like seeing a random woman in the store with a great pair of earrings or a really amazing sweater, you just have to let her know how you feel about her earrings or sweater!
However, why all the negativity about multiples? What makes people think that it is not only appropriate, but a good idea as well to make random negative comments to mothers of multiples? What happens when those multiples are of age to understand or at least partially understand those negative statements?
It happens! I have recently read on a few different blogs that mothers with multiples ages 3-12 have had comments made to them right in front of their children. Their children, who are multiples and quite capable or understanding those statements.
It hurts their feelings! It confuses them! It upsets them!!
It has to stop!!!
People really need to shut their mouths and look the other way, if they feel strongly compelled to make a negative statement about multiples they see in public.
You never know whose feelings you are going to hurt.
I hope that one day in the near future through the magic of books, magazines, newspapers, television, and the internet, people wise up!
What happened to treating strangers with respect and kindness?
Maybe someday. :)
OK well enough of that.....here is an opportunity for YOU to make a difference and get involved through blogging. Join in the fun that is January BlogHopPalooza and be informed!!
INTRODUCING The Star of the Blog World for January 2011!!!!!!
You will see this on the 5 hosts blogs and hopefully more blogs all throughout January!!! It is a month long mega blog HOP!!!! Want more followers, get on board NOW!!!!
yah I am excited so I posted it early... besides many of you all will be hung over on January 1st anyhow.
BlogHopPalooza
Your 5 Blog Hostesses
The Rules
1. follow the first 5 blogs..
2.leave a comment that they have followed so we may follow back.
optional BUT a GOOD idea for all
3.add the badge
4.feel free to blog about it and add linky
5.follow others and have a blast
i have a 7 year old, 2 year old and a 8 month old and when people tell me i have my hands full i agree! I am one of the people that says "how do you do it" I can't imagine what it is like having two or more at the same time and it just seems like a lot of work! Of course kids are worth it though! My sis in law has twins and it is a lot of work! I am however not jelouse and happy not having twins but to each his own! And of course if your delt twins then you just deal with it! Children are blessings!
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you mean - it amazes me how many people approach me each time I am out with my twins (especially alone). I had one lady yesterday congratulate me for not looking like a zombie! REALLY! I guess it is a compliment . . . I've luckily never had someone make a mean or hurtful comment though, at least YET.
ReplyDeleteI have a 3 year old son, and 1 year old twin girls. So I get lots of comments about how close they are in age/how crazy we are/how crazy life must be, etc. I actually wrote a post about it! I really don't think people think before they speak.
ReplyDelete